a twist

I paid the price for eating too much. I was up at 4:30 a.m. expelling all of what had gone in. This was an hour after Kacen had gone to sleep. So during that hour that he was asleep I was just lying there restless with a gross taste in my mouth, not fun and no sleeping :(. Paul got up with the girls. That seems to be one thing that I can count on him for, getting up when I am sick. But anyways I was in the bathroom once again at ten thirty and Abbi didn't have a clue. She was looking at me while this was going on, "Mommy, cough" she says. She didn't have the slightest idea. Maybe she just didn't know the word for it, she is an innocent little thing. I felt bad Abbi wanted attention that I couldn't give. She wanted me to color. The only way that I could have colored was lying on my back. I only felt alright that way, but you can't color lying on your back. She wanted me to pick her up and to play with her. I felt so bad.

I was able to call the compassionate service lady in our ward and she found someone to take the girls so that I could be sick with just me and Kacen. Okay so I did more cleaning than resting but I did not have the energy to take care of three children, cleaning takes so much less out of me. She kept the girls for five hours!! And wanted to know if she should keep them longer. I have been very humbled the past month, not living by any family requires me to ask for a lot of help from people in our ward. It is very difficult for me to ask for help, to rely on others. I am so used to doing things on my own or having one of Paul's parents help me. I feel so needy lately, I hate that but it is good for me, good to know that I can ask for help that I can rely on others.