26 July, 2010

Motivation and me

I know that I need to lose at least twenty pounds, and most times I dont have the drive, the motivation or determination, to jump on or keep on that band wagon. I have even joined on two, TWO weight loss forums. One on myfitnesspal.com and another one with some ladies on facebook, and yet I still am not where I should be. They have an option for blogging on myfitnesspal.com, which I did and am now transferring that post from there to here, minus a few tidbits, because well , I know that on here by some I am judged. I would like to be free and open about everything on here, but the truth isnt always what others want to hear or are ready to deal with, or even understand from someone else's perspective. Even what I have put here, I know some will judge and definitely not understand, and I need to be ok with that, I need to be okay with being me. So here it is:

Not as motivated as I should be


Being that I go days at times without much of any real adult contact. My husband is awake and home with us a very limited amount of time two days a week. Like th other night when I had had my three day stretch (Thursday, Friday, Saturday and then Sunday till 4pm) with just the kids and I, and then we went through the motions of taking care of the children, giving them some good, fun moments and getting them off to bed. After Jesse was rocked and put down, my husband also lied down, I thought that he was asleep for the night.. and I ate 1 1/2 bowls of cereal.

This online thing is great and all, but Its hard to feel that I really have real live support. a mountain dew, snacking during the day, a treat, these are things that sometimes brighten my moments. It is really hard for me to find things to brighten my moments besides food and treats at times. I get really lonely, and struggle with dealing with my loneliness and also frustrations with the children in other ways besides eating. I was thinking of who to call today, Just to talk... shoot the breeze, and I Couldn't think of anyone.

Exercise is really hard for me. In order to do my exercise video that I have Jesse has to be asleep, so nap time is when I have to do it. And well some times other things need to get done during nap time and i am not able to fit that in because there is too much to do or he takes too short of a nap. When I had three children, and even last year when Jesse was a baby I would take them on walks in the double stroller. Jesse in the baby bjorn, Abbi, Kacen and Alona in the two seats and in the basket under carriage. But now that Jesse is a bit bigger it seems more strenuous on my back to go on a good walk like that without hurting my back.Or too much to put Jesse in the stroller and have one of the older kids walk and do the hard core walk that would enable me to get the workout that I need.

25 July, 2010

Home can be a Heaven on Earth

Today Jesse was being really cranky before church. Our Sacrament starts at 11:00, and at 10:30, I just about had everyone ready. Girls and Kacen were all dressed, Jesse had his socks and pants on. And well, I was getting there. I am always last, getting five ready by yourself is no easy task, though it has gotten better since they keep learning to do more things by themselves.

Jesse got to a point where if I wasn't holding him he would scream and throw himself back on the floor or in my arms if I was holding him sitting down and not standing up. Jesse is still nursed when he wakes up in the morning, before he goes down for his nap and at bed time at night. So I figured I would get on with it and try putting him down for his nap.

I got him ready, in his crib and after about 10 minutes of crying, to sleep! But then the dilemma.. There was still church to attend. I am a stalwart church attendee, every week I am there! Each Sunday, for the longest time, I have attended church (all 3 hours) by myself with three and then four children. Though with my little guy, Jesse it has been more along the lines of enduring sacrament trying to keep everyone in our aisle or row of chairs without too much screaming, fighting or noise and then spend the rest of the two hour block of church wrestling with a 13 month old little guy to stop screaming, stay out of other people's bags, strollers, car seats, etc or keeping him safe on the stairs up to the nursery that he loves to climb!

Church from about seven months ago and probably for about another seven or so more months, doesn't involve much calm, learning or uplifting moments for me. I decided to let Jesse sleep in his crib (no he was not alone) while I ran the others to church and informed the counselor in the primary that my baby was asleep at home, and if it was all right with her if the older ones could stay in Primary I would come and get them when it was finished. I would be at home, with the sleeping baby, and keep my phone on hand!

So they were able to attend primary, and I headed back home. And not having my church time dedicated to keeping a 13 month old occupied, I was able to feel more calm, and uplifted than I have in a long time! Home in certain circumstances can be just what we need instead of the lessons awaiting us at church that we aren't able to hear! I am so grateful for the understanding of the Primary Counselor and the three hour nap that my baby took, and also for the time that I had for myself without it being between the hours of 11 pm and 3 am!!

18 July, 2010

Field trip #4- BYU Museum of Paleontology

the slot for donations, real cute. dinosaur would eat it up :)


loved how both the boys were trying to get eaten by the dinosaurs
holding on for dear life
"Im being eaten!"
Riding the triceratops by the horn!
ought OH!
He walks now ;)


It was a fun trip to the museum!

17 July, 2010

Field trip #3- Provo Temple

So I really cut these down. I took over 60 pictures of our family at the temple,
I think there is less than 20 on here.

Provo temple at Sunset in July
There's a water fall up there!!


beautiful flowerssitting by the pool
Water fight Mom!!
cruisin along


Our almost Eight year old!!
Jesse wants to play in the water too
Abbi running while Alona plays in the water,
Abbi and Kacen were chasing each other giggling!
and then Alona decided to twirl around.
Jesse practicing for when he would start walking a few days later

Abbi scooping up water and pouring it over her head.


heartbreaker
MORE Water!! They were excited for the water fountains and thirsty. Abbi was cute, stomped in the water around the fountain
"Look Mom, I leave tracks!"

It was a beautiful evening at the temple

field trip #2 - Fat Cats Bowling

We set up a calendar with the kids, setting dates each week for one field trip and a day a week to try out a different park. On Friday the ninth I took the kids to Fat Cats to go bowling (the week before we went to children's gardens). Fat Cats is having a summer deal, a children game of bowling is free with the purchase of shoe rental.

Alona was brave and bowled without the help that they have for children,
she rolled it down the lane on her own!
Even got a few strikes!
Kacen loved bowling! After one game Alona was tired, but Abbi and Kacen while getting their shoes on and Mom telling them it was time to go kept taking turns grabbing a ball and pushing it down the lane, before Mom could get them away from the game. They got away with bowling 6 frames while "putting their shoes on"!
Abbi and Alona were so cute. After bowling they would race to the screens and look to see what fun thing would be up there demonstrating how many pins that they knocked down.Jesse was a tough little guy to keep safe and wrangled while the other ones were bowling.
Instead of wandering off, which would have been better than the latter...he choose to go over to where the balls were ejected from after knocking down pins. So I would have to scoop him up and hold him kicking, wiggling and screaming the 1 1/2 games that we were there. He wasnt too happy that Mom wouldn't let him play with the balls.

My Garden..



My garden
It is growing so beautifully! It is fun to go outside each day and see the progress. Picking and eating the peas and carrots are the greatest rewards so far and the kids have lots a fun digging up the carrots.

my tomatoes up close. They are getting big, just need to change color now!


my really hot peppers

parsley and celery
peas
pumpkin and watermelon (in which order I'm not sure)