Court

I am deathly afraid of Thursday. Thursday will be the first day that I will ever have, oh wait strike that it wont be the first time that I have ever been to court. But the other times that I was in court I was a juvenile and they were hearings to either terminate my mothers rights or to see where we would be placed.

But this Thursday I have a court hearing for a traffic ticket. When I got pulled over at the beginning of December, I was pulling out from a Maverik, the road where I was turning on to the on coming traffic was coming from around a bend in the road and where I was looking at them from was a hotel sign, a parked car and trees. But as the cop also saw I had a phone up to my ear. I didnt see any cars coming pulling out from maverik, which also happened to be about 150 yards from the traffic light. I pulled in to the road and went in to the turning lane, and automatically saw flashing lights. I panicked, I am deathly afraid of cops, I think I was more afraid of the cop at my window that night than I am of court on Thursday only because I didnt have to say a single word to the cop, just nod my head say uh-humm and hand him paper work from my vehicle, registration, drivers license, etc. I pulled in to the far right lane (which was also a turning lane) from the turning lane when the cop pulled me over, panic had taken over and I wasn't thinking logically. Police officers literally scare me to death, I was just thinking that I needed to pull over.

When I was three my parents had a drug bust happen on our home. I was behind the front door at least from what I remember. They broke open the door, tore apart our home and took our parents away, my sister says it was just my dad that was taken away that night. My memories must be a little shady being that I was three years old. But the impression was left and they leave me shutting down when I get near them.

So when I was pulled over that night, he gave me a ticket for careless driving, he said that I pulled out right in front of him, he had to slam on his breaks and he saw that I was distracted from being on the phone and then I pulled in to a wrong place on the road . So he called me a careless driver(this is actually what the ticket is called is careless driving), told me if I dont know how to drive then I shouldn't be driving. I guess he didnt figure that maybe the reason some one might pull off into a turning lane is because she is traumatized by police. And maybe just maybe, she wasn't careless by being on the phone, but that it was dark, there things obstructing my view like hotel signs and trees and he was coming around a bend in the road.

But I decided that I would fight the ticket, and so I went and took pictures at where I would have been looking at when I was checking for on coming traffic. I don't know if the judge will intimidate me like police officers do, I hope not and I hope that I will do all right with speaking in court whether or not I end up having to pay the $310 fine.