ok, so I am alive! I have very limited access to the computer right now. I am at my in-laws using it! I am currently staying with my sister. No me and Paul are not having any type of marital problems like my family is asking or other people are assuming. Seriously what I am saying is the truth, Paul has four months left of school, I have not had much help in two years, Paul's sleeping/working/school schedule is horrible and our neighbors are not there for me. I am down here with family until he finishes to have help and support from others and this is how I have chosen to do it instead of going literally nuts. I am grateful for my family that is here and helping even if they don't understand me. I wish that kids didn't have to be dragged here with me and what not, but they will have a healthier, happier mommy.