Where a KiD can BE a KiD

Thanks to Citydeals.com I got an awesome deal on gift certificates to Chuck E Cheese.
They had a special, $20 gift certificate for $8. So oh yeah I took advantage of that awesome deal, I got two! And then found coupons to go along with it!
We ended up getting 2 large pizzas, 8 drinks, and 100 tokens for less than $20! Abbi was super excited to see that the ReaL Chuck E Cheese was there when we went and sat down to wait for the pizza. She ran right over to him, gave him a five and then squished up next to him, what a happy smiley little girl we made tonight. Jesse thought that Chuck E Cheese was awesome, especially because he used to saying Cheese when pictures are taken and now "Chuck Cheese" was right next to him when his picture was taken. He was just staring up at him and smiling real big, he liked him but probably didnt quite know what to think of him.

I didnt seem to get any good pictures of Alona at Chuck E Cheese, so here is a picture of earlier this month. We had a free night at Classic Skating, thanks to her school. The kids had a blast that night as well.

Kacen went free range wild on all the rides once there was a bucket of coins laid out on the table. Before the pizza even got there he grabbed a handle full and headed off. His first 20 stops were at the Monster Truck ride, which Jesse and Kacen got to enjoy together.

Abbi and Kacen were then so quick traipsing through the rides that Jesse couldn't keep up the whole time
Daddy was able to play air hockey with Abbi. Daddy was super sweet and let Abbi win :)

Kacen has a new way of winning just crawl up and drop it in to the hole that you want.
And once he learns his numbers maybe he will win this way.
Kids are super cute

Judgements, anxiety

Its not that I am setting my blog on private settings so that strangers out there dont look in to my life and see my children, see things about my life, or read things that are personal to me. Though hey those are probably pretty darn good reasons to set a blog to private and it probably should be. Sharing to strangers seems so much simpler. Having a chance that something I write might strike a chord with someone that I have never met before, that maybe they have gone through something similar and get me seems so much more humane than someone I know seeing a fault in my writing, in my life, in something that they just dont see eye to eye on with me and judge me. Maybe they will read something and think that it is about them, or read my ramblings and see me as a debbie downer or constant complainer, even though they cant possibly see where I am coming from because...they have never been there or they might have handled the situation differently. But really how could they know that they would have handled it differently if they dont know every circumstance and feel all of the same things that I do...well, they cant.
I have anxiety, it is not something that I admit to many people or talk about to unless they are close to me. I am glad that my sister and I can share this, though I wish it was something that she didnt have to endure either. It is said that anxiety is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, though my imbalance was caused by stresses that led to the imbalance. After Kacen was born I didnt have help, I did not have a great support group or cheering section, my husband was on a schedule with work and such a sleeping disorder that I never got a break with my no napping little guy. I seemed to get better when he was about a year. But before he was two with everything still going on I needed a break and my sister was willing to let me be a live in with her for two months. What an awesome sister I have! I didnt realize at the time but needing a break that badly, and not having anyone to support me, to help me, on my great grandmothers lawn early in August that year I had my first anxiety attack. My sister was the one person who was there for me who told me that very night that I could bring my things over and stay with her :) After being with her for two months, having someone with me every day, it just felt so good. And I was able to go home and try to learn how to better deal with my anxiety.

With anxiety I just cant get my nerves to calm down, I over eat to calm my self down, I stay up too late because I cant calm down, I am jumpy and irritable and am nervous about things. And I have learned how to manage. I wish that I could be normal, especially with my dad, who was a schizophrenic, my mother who is bi-polar and other family members who have other lovely eccentricities. I have just wanted to be normal..

But its okay, I have come to terms with having anxiety and dealing with it the best that I can.
Being judged because of my anxiety is one thing. Also being judged, from complaining, I have heard before that I complain too much on occasion about my children. I know that they are a blessing and are the most innocent wonderful human beings out there. But along with being a mother 24/7 there is a lot of stress and things that happen that well, sometimes just need to be let out. and if I do it on here, thats because this is my blog. This is where I would like to feel free to be myself. And I will try to share more of the positives of being a Mommy too though in the past "I" thought I have done a good job of that.

I love children, I love being pregnant, and on many other personal levels, I have always wanted a big family and one day, possibly if things work out the way we've planned it, it will be a family of five children. I am afraid of the judgments and or comments from others when this happens. In fact so much that I am weary of telling others when this happens. I have come to learn from experience that I can count on few for support, and I know that having my four children older when this happens will make it a ton easier on me. I am glad that I have a patient husband who is really good at waiting for things, and on this, waiting is really good for me and I am excited to enjoy the children I have now and to enjoy our last one when he/she comes.

Miranda Lambert - The House That Built Me

So many lyrics in this song remind me of where I came from. I can never go home again, not to the home I was raised in, not to the home I last lived with my parents and all of my siblings. I drive by it all the time when I am up by Sunset. They took down the umbrella trees that were there, but its still the same house. Our dog was left all alone under a camper trailer and died there when we were taken away.
This song brings me to tears...

Its Cookie Time

In case you didnt know we are girl scouts
and its Cookie selling time!
So if you feel like helping out a girl scout and
ordering some delicious girl scout cookies
you can email us
snojoes@netzero.net
we can then take your order over email
or call you if you send us your number!

They are 3.50 a box,
there are samoas(w/real coconut), tagalongs, dosidos,
trefoils, lemon chalet cremes, thin mints, dulce de leches
and Thank U Berry Munches (with real cranberries).
Let us know if you would like some, what kind/how many.
They will be delivered the first week of March.
We can take orders up until January 31st.

Frenulectemy

So Wednesday Abbi had her dentist appointment, first was putting sealants on her six year molars that just came in. They put in this plastic piece that separates the teeth that the dental assistant is working on from the rest of the mouth and it also sucks out and fluids in there, and by doing both of these things it keeps the teeth that she is working on dry. Abbi starting gagging and choking during this procedure, it was not looking good, I had to tell her to squeeze my hand just to put sealants on.

So when the sealants were done and they took us back into the room where procedures were done. The dentists got my attention and let me know how concerned that he was about doing this procedure with Abbi. With how she reacted with just sealants being put on her teeth, he was worried about how she would react with being number and getting her frenulum cut out. That once the procedure was started he Had to finish, there was no turning back. I know that Abbi would need to have this done if we wanted her to have more room in her mouth for her grown up teeth, so I told him to go ahead and start the numbing and see how that goes. So he first numbs her and she squeezes my hand for that, no complaining, crying gagging, nothing!

She thinks its all pretty funny, feeling her lip, she starts giggling, Its big and puffy and feels really funny!! I was holding Jesse at the time and she grabbed his hand, "Jesse feel my lip... it feels R e a l l y funny!" The dentist came in to do the procedure and starts explaining to me what had to be done. I thought that just the extra piece of skin between her two top front teeth had to be cut out, but that was not the case, the frenulum, which includes the ligament that connects the lip to the gums needed to be cut out along with the spot on the inside of the mouth where it connects to the mouth and the piece in her gums all had to be cut out.

The dentist advised me not to look. I was holding Abbi's hand the whole time, and glanced over at Abbi a couple times, I so should not have done that. It made me sick to my stomach, the blood the knife to my daughter. I was ready to lose my lunch. I held it in, when the dentist was finished stitching her up he asked if I was all right, "no!". He pulled a chair under me, it calmed my stomach but thinking of Abbi like that still makes me uneasy.

Abbi definitely did not feel a thing, she didn't flinch just watched her movie while the procedure was being done, she was better at having this procedure done then have sealants on her teeth and amazingly better than Alona was. I remembered to give her pain medicine when we got home and she was fine, she enjoyed going and getting her soft foods that night, who wouldn't love ice cream, jello, applesauce, pudding and soup. She hasn't only had slight complaints about pain in the past few days and goes back in on Wednesday just for the dentist to see how she is healing.

clipping and pulling

Alona has a small mouth for the size of grown up teeth that she has coming in. So much so that she had all four of her canines pulled to help her other teeth have room. Her grown up canines are suppose to come in when she is about twelve so she has a little more than two years of extra space and then she will need braces. Taking her in to get her teeth pulled was awful, two people had to hold her down while the dentist numbed, her just to numb her and then with all the wiggling that she was doing she ended up bleeding all over. Pulling teeth wasn't any better, I held down her arms and legs while the dental assistant held her head still and the dentist pulled out the teeth.

Now today in about thirty minutes, Abbi has an appointment at the dentist. And every time that it gets brought up that she has an appointment she screams "Nooo"! She has a little extra piece of skin between her top two front teeth, they call it a frenulum. And if it gets clipped then it will give her more room for her grown up top front teeth to come in. So when we take her in they are going to put sealants on her 6 year molars that have come in and clip her frenulum, I am scared for her too and wish that she didnt have to have this done. She also exclaims that she doesnt want to be clipped every time that I mention the dentist. I dont remember having anything done to my mouth like my girls have had the past month when I was little.

Court

I am deathly afraid of Thursday. Thursday will be the first day that I will ever have, oh wait strike that it wont be the first time that I have ever been to court. But the other times that I was in court I was a juvenile and they were hearings to either terminate my mothers rights or to see where we would be placed.

But this Thursday I have a court hearing for a traffic ticket. When I got pulled over at the beginning of December, I was pulling out from a Maverik, the road where I was turning on to the on coming traffic was coming from around a bend in the road and where I was looking at them from was a hotel sign, a parked car and trees. But as the cop also saw I had a phone up to my ear. I didnt see any cars coming pulling out from maverik, which also happened to be about 150 yards from the traffic light. I pulled in to the road and went in to the turning lane, and automatically saw flashing lights. I panicked, I am deathly afraid of cops, I think I was more afraid of the cop at my window that night than I am of court on Thursday only because I didnt have to say a single word to the cop, just nod my head say uh-humm and hand him paper work from my vehicle, registration, drivers license, etc. I pulled in to the far right lane (which was also a turning lane) from the turning lane when the cop pulled me over, panic had taken over and I wasn't thinking logically. Police officers literally scare me to death, I was just thinking that I needed to pull over.

When I was three my parents had a drug bust happen on our home. I was behind the front door at least from what I remember. They broke open the door, tore apart our home and took our parents away, my sister says it was just my dad that was taken away that night. My memories must be a little shady being that I was three years old. But the impression was left and they leave me shutting down when I get near them.

So when I was pulled over that night, he gave me a ticket for careless driving, he said that I pulled out right in front of him, he had to slam on his breaks and he saw that I was distracted from being on the phone and then I pulled in to a wrong place on the road . So he called me a careless driver(this is actually what the ticket is called is careless driving), told me if I dont know how to drive then I shouldn't be driving. I guess he didnt figure that maybe the reason some one might pull off into a turning lane is because she is traumatized by police. And maybe just maybe, she wasn't careless by being on the phone, but that it was dark, there things obstructing my view like hotel signs and trees and he was coming around a bend in the road.

But I decided that I would fight the ticket, and so I went and took pictures at where I would have been looking at when I was checking for on coming traffic. I don't know if the judge will intimidate me like police officers do, I hope not and I hope that I will do all right with speaking in court whether or not I end up having to pay the $310 fine.

Priceless

Mortgage on a home $139,500
New Refrigerator $1049
Earnest Money $500
Having Electric, Gas and Water ran at two houses for a month $500
New Water heater $367
New blinds $230
Deep Freeze $213
Moving expenses $120
Canceling Internet at old house $108
Twin bed for Alona to have her own room $75
ladder to replace porch light $62.00
New shower curtain rod and curtain $ 48.00
Mirror/ Medicine cabinet for downstairs bathroom $35
New shower head $30.00
New lock for front door $30.00
New valve for bath tub $29.00
Replacing the pipes to the kitchen that got damaged when moving in $25.00
New light fixture $22
New dryer hookups $15
Curb key to turn the water back on after the seller winterized the house $9
Toilet paper holder $8

Being Home Owners
PRICELESS